My current quote: Another day has come and gone. I say it every night as I lay down to sleep.
Time is flying by at lightening speed, why so fast? Where is it all going?
I said to my husband the other day as I was having a mental break down, an episode if you will, I have them often. I said it feels like life has pulled me into this rip current, pulling me in so fast that I cant catch my breath or even fathom what's transpiring around me, with only little moments to pull my head up out of the water to catch my breath.
Ill be 30yrs old in two months. (Side note: This is funny because my husband was about to be 30 in my first (and last blog) its like a little time capsule, I never did blog about his mid-life crisis, it was a fun one, Ill include him in with my blog about my min-life crisis that I plan on writing about!)
Its been almost 4 years since my last blog. Crazy.
I re-read it and I can see my younger self typing all that in. This things that Ive been through. During that time I was so lost. I think Ive figured it out. Im still alone most of the time. Now-ah-days I prefer it because I don't like dealing with peoples bullshit.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Friday, August 13, 2010
Hung to dry
There is something rejuvenating about it
a raw, down to earth feeling, that keeps you grounded.
Something about the way they move along with the wind,
The feeling it gives you when its coolness touches your cheek,
The scent of home that it puts off as it's being blow about in the wind,
There is something romantic about the way the shadows play with the sun
as it shines threw the linen as it hang's there to dry.
a raw, down to earth feeling, that keeps you grounded.
Something about the way they move along with the wind,
The feeling it gives you when its coolness touches your cheek,
The scent of home that it puts off as it's being blow about in the wind,
There is something romantic about the way the shadows play with the sun
as it shines threw the linen as it hang's there to dry.
Where to start...
Hhhmmm, I have been pondering over what I should write about. About where I should start.
I guess I will start with right where I'm at then work my way threw the pile. I do want to give a little warning before you start reading, I am a little all over the place with this blog. I just have so much to write, so many thoughts and memories that I want to get to. So bear with me. I will try to keep it together.
I am a 25yr. old wife and stay at home mother of 3 kids. Ages 4.5yr. old girl, 2yr. old boy, and 10mo. baby girl. My husband, works a lot, and is about to be 30yrs. old and I think he is going through a mid life crisis (I can blog about that one later). Most days I absolutely hate being a mom. Mainly because I am running in five different directions trying to meet everyone's needs. You see I used to be a person of great solitude.
I grew up in a very small town with no friends. I would hang out with some of the local kids from time to time, but I mostly spent my time alone. I was especially never around little kids, so when I had my first kid I was a little skittish and very alone. Lost without a map. My husband was there for me, but he was a man so he couldn't really give me the things a new mother needed. Things that only a mother or sister could give. Like guidance and direction. (I do, for sake of argument, have to give a little credit to my sister. She was there for a second. But like everyone in this entire world, she has her own life). So there I was again in my solitude, with a new little human in my arms, freaking out because I didn't know my ass from my elbow at that point. I learned quickly, because it is a natural thing, so natural instinct came over me. I learned how to be a mom without a map. After I got the hang of being a mom to her, I wanted to have one more. So my son was born. And before I knew it baby #3 was coming home. So as of now I am going out of my mind crazy because I have all these little people that need so many things, all the time. And all I want is to be left alone.
I guess I will start with right where I'm at then work my way threw the pile. I do want to give a little warning before you start reading, I am a little all over the place with this blog. I just have so much to write, so many thoughts and memories that I want to get to. So bear with me. I will try to keep it together.
I am a 25yr. old wife and stay at home mother of 3 kids. Ages 4.5yr. old girl, 2yr. old boy, and 10mo. baby girl. My husband, works a lot, and is about to be 30yrs. old and I think he is going through a mid life crisis (I can blog about that one later). Most days I absolutely hate being a mom. Mainly because I am running in five different directions trying to meet everyone's needs. You see I used to be a person of great solitude.
sol·i·tude
[sol-i-tood, -tyood]
–noun
1.
the state of being or living alone; seclusion: to enjoy one'ssolitude.
2.
remoteness from habitations, as of a place; absence of human activity: the solitude of the mountains.
3.
a lonely, unfrequented place: a solitude in the mountains.
I grew up in a very small town with no friends. I would hang out with some of the local kids from time to time, but I mostly spent my time alone. I was especially never around little kids, so when I had my first kid I was a little skittish and very alone. Lost without a map. My husband was there for me, but he was a man so he couldn't really give me the things a new mother needed. Things that only a mother or sister could give. Like guidance and direction. (I do, for sake of argument, have to give a little credit to my sister. She was there for a second. But like everyone in this entire world, she has her own life). So there I was again in my solitude, with a new little human in my arms, freaking out because I didn't know my ass from my elbow at that point. I learned quickly, because it is a natural thing, so natural instinct came over me. I learned how to be a mom without a map. After I got the hang of being a mom to her, I wanted to have one more. So my son was born. And before I knew it baby #3 was coming home. So as of now I am going out of my mind crazy because I have all these little people that need so many things, all the time. And all I want is to be left alone.
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