Where to start...

Hhhmmm, I have been pondering over what I should write about. About where I should start.
I guess I will start with right where I'm at then work my way threw the pile. I do want to give a little warning before you start reading, I am a little all over the place with this blog. I just have so much to write, so many thoughts and memories that I want to get to. So bear with me. I will try to keep it together.

I am a 25yr. old wife and stay at home mother of 3 kids. Ages 4.5yr. old girl, 2yr. old boy, and 10mo. baby girl. My husband, works a lot, and  is about to be 30yrs. old and I think he is going through a mid life crisis (I can blog about that one later). Most days I absolutely hate being a mom. Mainly because I am running in five different directions trying to meet everyone's needs. You see I used to be a person of great solitude.

sol·i·tude

   [sol-i-tood, -tyood] 

–noun

1.

the state of being or living alone; seclusion: to enjoy one'ssolitude.

2.

remoteness from habitations, as of a place; absence of human activity: the solitude of the mountains.

3.

a lonely, unfrequented place: a solitude in the mountains.

I grew up in a very small town with no friends. I would hang out with some of the local kids from time to time, but I mostly spent my time alone. I was especially never around little kids, so when I had my first kid I was a little skittish and very alone. Lost without a map. My husband was there for me, but he was a man so he couldn't really give me the things a new mother needed. Things that only a mother or sister could give. Like guidance and direction. (I do, for sake of argument, have to give a little credit to my sister. She was there for a second. But like everyone in this entire world, she has her own life). So there I was again in my solitude, with a new little human in my arms, freaking out because I didn't know my ass from my elbow at that point. I learned quickly, because it is a natural thing, so natural instinct came over me. I learned how to be a mom without a map. After I got the hang of being a mom to her, I wanted to have one more. So my son was born. And before I knew it baby #3 was coming home. So as of now I am going out of my mind crazy because I have all these little people that need so many things, all the time. And all I want is to be left alone.